Snarky Opener (0:00)
So, I don't know about Madonna, but if you keep pushing my love over the borderline and violate my boundaries, then there will be a conversation and consequences.
Episode Introduction (0:35)
It's been a while. I know I shouldn't have kept you waiting. But I'm here now.
Hello, my L-G-B-T-Quties.
And welcome back to another episode of A Jaded Gay. I'm Rob Loveless, and I hope you liked that Britney-inspired intro. It's been a little while since our last podcast episode, so figured I'd do something fun for the first episode of the new year.
And on that note, today, I am a non-jaded gay because it is the beginning of 2024. I'm feeling optimistic, feeling inspired. I love the beginning of a new year. I love this time of year, January, just because I feel like it's winter, you can kind of hibernate a little bit more.
It's always been a more inspiring time for me creatively where I kind of am, you know, at home with myself a little bit more, spending more time focusing on things for myself. Just you know, relaxing, meditating, watching TV, writing, reading, just not so focused on socializing with people all the time, and really letting this cold, sometimes dreary weather just really be a channel to be cozy in my house and recharge my battery.
And I am so excited to be back with all of you because it's been a while since our last episode. I mean, granted, there had been bonus episodes since October.
I also had the two recap episodes in December for our Best of Guests So Far. Just a nice little look back on, you know, people we've had on and hearing their perspectives and just remembering some of the information they covered because there's a lot that we talk about. So, it's always nice kind of having that refresher.
But today we are back with a brand-new episode really geared towards setting up the new year for success for us. But before we get into that, just a few quick housekeeping things I wanted to talk about.
Spotify Wrapped 2023 & Rising Up the Charts (2:19)
For starters, thank you all so much for your support all through 2023. You know, since my last recording, Spotify Wrapped came out. And it was just amazing to see how people have engaged with the podcast.
Also, I don't know when this happened. I do track chart data for how the podcast is performing. So, I'm not sure when exactly it happened, but A Jaded Gay peaked at number three on the Sexuality charts in both Mexico and the UK. So that's pretty fantastic, in my opinion. And you know, for all my listeners there, thank you so much for supporting the podcast.
Please continue sharing with your friends because I would love for this to grow.
Huffington Post Appearance (2:54)
Also, really exciting. In the middle of December, I was actually featured in a Huffington Post article by Brittany Wong called Single During the Holidays: 17 People Share Their Favorite Traditions. So, I was really excited to be featured in that.
I shared a little story about, you know, how my friends and I in the past would always do a gay cookie bake. I shared the article on both my podcast Instagram and my personal Instagram. So, you may have seen it already. If not, check it out.
Maybe use it as an idea for you and your friends in the future for next year. Because I always think it's a really fun, just, kind of get-together during the holidays, especially when holidays seem so focused on couples, just to have that single time.
Hashtag single all the way. But yeah, very excited to be featured in that.
Patreon Content (3:35)
Also, as I touched upon at the beginning, we have had bonus episodes coming out every month through Patreon. So, thank you to all those who support me on Patreon. I greatly appreciate it; I hope you're enjoying the added content.
If you haven't joined on Patreon yet, consider doing so. Tiers start as low as $1 a month. When you sign up, you get access to the episodes a day early ad-free. You also get the monthly bonus episodes.
November, I talked about my gym fails, which was pretty funny. December, I watched a gay Christmas movie and critiqued it from the comfort of my own home. And then, I did just release one last week about using the opportunity of January right after the holidays as a time to really reset and refocus on what you want to achieve on the year ahead. And the importance of kind of, you know, having those boundaries in place for that, which we'll get into in a bit.
So again, consider signing up for that really appreciate it. Also, if you don't want to do a monthly subscription, we do also have Buy Me a Coffee, where you can donate one time any amount you want. All donations are greatly appreciated.
Because, you know, I am hoping to try to build the podcast up into more of a business model down the road. So having those funds in place really helps to kind of take this to the next level, so to speak.
A Jaded Gay Wants to Hear from You! (4:46)
And then lastly, one thing I did want to touch upon too is if you listen to the podcast on Spotify, you'll start seeing that every episode now has, you know, a Q&A prompt and some of them will have polls in them as well. Always tied back to the episode we cover.
So, I really, if you're listening on Spotify, I'd really appreciate if you could utilize both of those. Really trying to get some more engagement with the podcast and foster conversation. And if you don't listen on Spotify, no worries.
I'm always accepting emails so you can send your emails my way, rob@ajadedgay.com. You know, ask me questions, share your stories, you know, provide your feedback and opinions on topics we cover.
With both emails you send me and then anything you submit on the Spotify podcast questions and polls, I really want to start engaging with that and reading it on the podcast, because I'd like for 2024 for the podcast to be much more engaging, where we're, you know, hearing listeners submitted questions or comments, and you know, talking about them on the podcast.
So definitely, you know, connect with me, I love to hear from you guys.
Stay Tuned for More Guests (5:50)
And also, I know it's early on in the year. But I'm very excited because we have some super exciting guests lined up for this year so far.
I always love having guests on. It always just brings a little something extra because, obviously, I'm just one person with my own perspectives. So, I love hearing from others and sharing a more inclusive view of the entire LGBTQ+ community. So, we have some very special episodes coming up for you on that.
And also if you have a suggestion for a guest or if you're somebody you know, listening and you, you know, you're a leader in your community, you're you know, creating LGBTQ+ content, you're working in, you know, mental health resources for LGBTQ+ people feel free to reach out if you think you might be a good fit for a guest because I'm always open to hearing from others, and getting some additional speakers featured on the podcast.
Boundaries (6:37)
So, a little lengthy of a housekeeping update there. Kind of feel like I'm becoming one of those podcasters, who, you know, rambles for 45 minutes and then goes, all right, but let's dive right into the topic. But hopefully, this will be less than 10 minutes in by the time the topic starts.
Anyway, as I hinted upfront, today, we are going to be focusing on boundaries. And I thought it was a good idea to talk about this for a new year, you know. Time to kind of really assess where you're at, identify where you want to be at this year, and how you can achieve that. And I think boundaries is a good way to do that.
Now, I do feel like this is one of those buzzwords that gets thrown around sometimes without actually understanding what it means or how to implement boundaries. And, for myself personally, I used to think that boundaries were hard and fast rules like, okay, this date needs to end by 9 pm because I need to go to bed so I can get up early, which it is a form of a boundary. But it goes so much deeper than that regarding actual behaviors and conversations.
And 2023 was a doozy of a year for me, especially with the move from Pittsburgh to Philly, I think you know about that from past episodes. But going through that, I was upset and stressed and more sensitive than I've been in the past. And I've cried a lot more than I had in years past.
But because of that, there was also some friction with some people in my life. And certain actions which I might have brushed off in the past really hit me deeper during all of that. And that whole ordeal really ripped the band-aid off for me when it came to recognizing why certain things bothered me, what my boundaries were, and how to communicate them.
Because in the past, you know, I would just keep quiet because I didn't want to rock the boat and upset others, even if I was being hurt in the process. Now, this isn't always the easiest thing to do, and I'm still learning how to communicate my boundaries. And most of my recent therapy sessions have been about that. But it's really important we do that, one, for our own emotional well-being, but two, so that we are inviting the right people into our lives who respect our boundaries.
So, we'll be discussing the ins and outs of that today. But first tarot time.
Tarot (8:42)
And the tarot for this week is going to be a little different. I'm not drawing a card. Instead, since it's 2024, I'm going to use the tarot number associated with that. So, as you know, in numerology, we add our numbers together, two plus two plus four equals eight.
And in the Major Arcana, eight is Strength. And I love the number eight because if you turn it sideways, you get the infinity symbol. So, it's like our energy is constantly flowing and never-ending.
And the traditional Strength card depicts a woman wearing white who's exhibiting her own strength by gently closing the mouth of a lion standing next to her. And it's kind of a juxtaposition, you know, you see the white robe and the flowers, and you might think of purity, gentleness, maybe even fragility. But despite what appears on the surface, underneath there's strength to overcome the lion.
And while this sounds like an intense card, the image is actually quite peaceful. And the woman on the card represents feminine energy, reminding us that there is strength in meditating and reflecting.
So, when we pull this card upright, it means we're overcoming obstacles and enduring our own hardships. It's a reminder that we're capable of overcoming struggles, both internally and externally. And it's really asking us to be present with our fears instead of pushing them aside so we can identify ways to move forward with courage.
And, for me personally, I think that's a pretty optimistic note to start off on for the New Year, which I'm greatly looking forward to. Like I said, 2023 was rough for me. There was a lot of loss in 2023, but I feel that that loss made way for new opportunities. But that being said, it's still was, you know, very tumultuous.
And so, I'm really viewing 2023 as the rebuilding year where, you know, maybe the rug was pulled out from underneath you, you were falling in not knowing where you were falling to. But now we're in 2024, where we have the strength to move forward.
And for me, I'm hoping that the rebuilding I did in 2023, I'll be reaping those rewards in 2024 by kind of just coasting and enjoying the successes of what I achieved towards the end of 2023. And definitely feeling more settled in the present.
What is a Boundary? (10:43)
So, with that in mind, let's kick it off by asking the question, what is a boundary?
Well, according to PsychCentral, it's a line we draw for ourselves in terms of our level of comfort around others. And these boundaries may deal with physical contact, verbal interactions, and our own personal space.
And the article includes examples as:
· Not feeling comfortable hugging a person you've just met
· Not wanting a friend or family member to speak down to you
· Or choosing to not have others in your home when you aren't there
Boundary Categories (11:13)
Additionally, boundaries typically fall into the following categories:
· Emotional, which is protecting our own emotional well-being
· Physical, protecting our physical space
· Sexual, protecting our needs, and safety, sexually
· Workplace, protecting our ability to do our work without interference or drama
· Material, protecting our personal belongings
· And time, protecting the use and misuse of our time
And boundaries exist in a variety of situations, including at work at home, when visiting family, when we're out with our friends, and pretty much any time we're socializing with others.
We All Have Different Boundaries (11:49)
Now, with that in mind, it's important to note that boundaries may fluctuate with different people. For example, you might feel comfortable talking about your relationship with a close friend, but you don't feel comfortable having those conversations with a co-worker.
And as The Centre for Gay Therapy notes, universal boundaries are rare, and they don't take into account the nuances and needs that arise in different relationships. Also, not everyone has the same boundaries, and people can't mindread to know what another person's boundaries are.
And this can be especially true for people who have lower emotional intelligence. They may not understand boundaries unless they're verbally communicated.
So, needless to say, it's important to communicate our needs for healthy interactions with someone. And that's what setting boundaries is all about. But that isn't necessarily easy.
Why is It Hard to Set Boundaries? (12:38)
I mean, for starters, many of us were taught to bend and mold ourselves to make others comfortable since childhood. We've subconsciously been taught to put others' feelings ahead of our own.
So, setting appropriate boundaries may have us worried that we're offending or hurting others or even pushing them away. Additionally, not everyone may like or understand our boundaries or our reasons for setting them.
And that can be scary because we may fear that we'll lose someone in our life if they're not receptive of our boundaries. But we can’t expect our boundaries to be followed and respected if we don't set them and communicate them.
But while this is difficult work for everyone, there are some additional layers of complexity for LGBTQ+ people when it comes to setting boundaries.
Why Boundary Setting is Difficult for Gay Men (13:23)
The Centre for Gay Counseling states that some gay men have learned to survive by people pleasing and catering to others' needs. So, for gay men who struggle with this, they may fear that setting boundaries will make others view them as being mean with cruel and rigid limits.
Additionally, gay men may have a low sense of self-worth from the trauma of growing up gay in a straight society, and those who have issues with self-worth tend to experience challenges when it comes to setting boundaries.
Challenges Gay Men Face When Setting Boundaries (13:51)
Full Spectrum Therapy, which is based in Portland, Oregon, goes on to list several more unique circumstances gay men face when setting boundaries:
· We have to set more boundaries and more settings and our straight peers
· Many of the boundaries we need or want to set are about deeply personal and emotional topics, such as who we are and who we love
· Society teaches us not to trust ourselves, our perceptions, and our feelings
· It's often less safe for us to affirm our boundaries in many public and private settings
· Many of us may feel isolated and worried that boundary setting will contribute to further isolation
· And we may find ourselves in abusive relationships where it's not safe to assert our boundaries
And they explained that struggling with boundaries is a very common experience for LGBTQ+ people, myself included. So, if this is something you've had trouble with in the past, know that you're not alone.
Most Gay Men Struggle with Identifying Their Boundaries (14:44)
Unsurprisingly, boundaries can be hard to establish, but they are so important for our emotional well-being.
By being intentional and identifying, setting, and communicating our boundaries, we can build healthier relationships, honor our personal integrity, increase our self-worth, model how other people should treat us, and establish realistic expectations in our relationships.
And while the first step of this is to identify our boundaries, that can be difficult to do as LGBTQ+ people. In fact, Full Spectrum Therapy states that discerning what our boundaries are, is one of the biggest struggles LGBTQ+ people deal with when it comes to setting boundaries. Here's an excerpt.
"This is one of the biggest issues we hear again and again. You sit down to decide what your boundaries are, and nothing happens. You just don't know. And you're not sure how to figure it out. This often happens when you feel disconnected from yourself, your body, your feelings, and/or your gut. There's so many reasons you can feel this way. But for LGBTQ+ folks, one of the major contributing factors is lifelong exposure to homophobia and/or transphobia and all the crappy experiences that go along with it. In these situations, it can feel more quote-unquote, natural to attune to the other people around you and take your cue on what's appropriate from them. This tends to work out pretty poorly because no one but you can decide what's appropriate for you."
Now, for me, personally, it's taken me years to realize what my boundaries are. And I'd say in the last two years, I've really tried to trust my intuition or that gut feeling. You know, something might happen that would make me feel anxious and I'd tell myself, oh, you're just nervous, because this is a new situation, and you're afraid of the unknown. But most of those situations ended up being really uncomfortable situations for me, which my body was trying to warn me against, but I didn't trust myself.
How to Define Your Boundaries (16:38)
So, going off of that, PsychCentral has four strategies to help you define your own boundaries:
For starters, tune into your emotions.
Our emotions serve as a compass that guides us in our lives and relationships. And it's the strongest indicator of our boundaries.
So, tuning into our emotions allows us to better understand the people, interactions, and boundaries that we're comfortable with and the ones that aren't working for us. And when we experience emotional discomfort, it's a sign there's something we need to address similar to physical pain.
Next, tune into your thoughts.
Our thoughts can also give us information on boundaries. Here's an example from the article.
"Maybe you have more self-critical thoughts when you're with a certain friend. After some reflection, you realize that you let her have too much sway over your self-worth and you decide to set emotional boundaries. Or you decide that you want to spend less time with her.”
The third strategy is to observe others.
Paying attention to others' boundaries isn't only courteous, but it gives you examples of boundaries you might want to set for yourself. You may even want to compare your boundaries with your friends who may have different ones to see a different perspective.
For example, you might have been brought up believing that you should let a loved one's needs override your own, or loan large amounts of money to anyone who asks, but your friends may think otherwise.
And lastly, get clear on your values.
Setting boundaries is all about protecting what's important to us. So, we need to identify what matters most to us and then act intentionally to make that happen.
So, for someone who wants to spend more time with their sibling, they may decide to set boundaries around not participating in negative conversations about their sibling, cutting out excuses not to reach out, and rejecting the belief that their past activities have to resemble their present ones.
When to Set a Boundary (18:24)
So now that we have an idea of how we can begin identifying our boundaries, how do we know when it's time to set them?
Well, The Centre for Gay Counseling says that it's really straightforward. It's time to set a boundary when you're feeling disrespected, uncomfortable, or underappreciated with someone.
But the difficult part is how to set a boundary. Especially because if you've had loose boundaries over the years, you may encounter resistance and pushback from family and friends.
And for LGBTQ+ people, this can be especially challenging when it comes to setting boundaries with family members. Many of us have at least one family member that may not be as accepting as we would like them to be, which is why boundary setting can be so difficult with family.
Examples of Boundary Challenges (19:06)
And here's a few examples of what boundary challenges can look like as it relates to our families. And these come from the Full Spectrum Therapy article:
· How many homophobic comments will you tolerate before you end a family visit?
· Will you ask your grandfather to stop yelling about his religious objection to your identity?
· Will you attend Christmas dinner if your partner isn't invited?
· Will you go to a non-affirming church service with your family?
· Will you let your stepmother babysit if she keeps calling your sperm donor quote-unquote the father?
· Do you want to attend your cousin's wedding if the guy who deadnamed you on Facebook is going to be there?
· Should you stop returning your transphobic aunt's phone calls?
So again, knowing when to set a boundary and how to can be a scary thing. But ultimately, it is an act of self-love. And it gets easier to implement our boundaries the more we do it.
So, starting off, we need to know what kind of boundary we're setting, whether that be emotional, physical, sexual workplace, material, or time. So, let's go through that list.
Setting Emotional Boundaries (20:07)
Emotional boundaries typically relate to how others talk to us and treat us. And these aren't always things we think to set before a line is crossed.
You know, for myself, there have been situations where things have happened. And then the next day, I'm like, wait, I don't think that was okay. And that interaction is still on my mind, and it's leaving me feeling angry or upset. But that's okay.
It gives you time to reflect and think about the situation so you can process, gather your thoughts, and then communicate your feelings to the other person.
So, Psychology Central uses the example of getting into an argument with someone, and they call you an unkind name. So, once you've both calmed down, they suggest taking the following steps to set an emotional boundary:
· Approach them
· Ask to speak about the argument
· Own any part you may have played in the argument going awry
· Tell them that you are not okay with name-calling and that you will need them to engage without stooping to that level in the future
Setting Physical Boundaries (21:03)
Now, in comparison, physical boundaries can be set before there's an issue. So, let's say you're meeting someone and you're not comfortable shaking hands or hugging.
You can wave from a few feet away and then smile and say, "I don't like to shake hands or hug, but I'm so glad to meet you." And don't feel the need to apologize or explain yourself beyond that.
And if someone is in your physical space, you can say something like, "I get uncomfortable when people are too close to me. Could you take a step back?"
And I don't have any data for this. This is just a personal opinion. But I think that this is one type of boundary we, as gay men, may be better about communicating since many of us are used to talking about what we're into on dating apps.
You know, that question usually comes up early on to determine sexual compatibility and what people are, quote-unquote, looking for. In fact, so many of us are used to answering that question when we start talking to someone new on an app, so we may not realize it, but we're already setting physical boundaries.
So, if you're looking to be better about setting boundaries, in general, maybe use physical boundaries as an area to really focus on and improve your communication for that as practice to building up to setting other boundaries. And that also ties into sexual boundaries.
Setting Sexual Boundaries (22:09)
When we're beginning a new intimate relationship, it's a good idea to sit down with your partner and communicate things you are and aren't comfortable with.
And you can prompt that conversation with a statement like, "I'm looking forward to taking the next step in our relationship. But I'd like to take a moment to talk about what that might look like."
Additionally, for gay men, these types of boundaries may involve discussing monogamy versus consensual nonmonogamy. And if you choose the latter, boundaries may include what are you allowed to do with others outside of your partner and should you and your partner discuss what goes on with others.
Setting Workplace Boundaries (22:40)
Next are workplace boundaries. And the best way to set those are by setting the tone and how you conduct yourself professionally. So basically, these boundaries should reflect the professional manner you hope others will return when engaging with you in the workplace.
And this one kind of ties back to emotional boundaries in the sense that these are often a matter of waiting until a boundary has been crossed to address the situation.
And PsychCentral uses the example of a colleague who talks down to you in the meeting. You can approach them afterward and explain to them why that was unacceptable and what you need from them in the future.
And, of course, if someone is routinely violating your workplace boundaries, you may have to get HR involved.
Setting Material Boundaries (23:19)
Now, material boundaries are how we expect others to take care of our things. If you let your friend borrow your shirt, and they destroy it and return it back to you like nothing happened, that would frustrate most of us.
So, it's completely acceptable to outline your boundaries for general use of our possessions when we lend them out. So, if you're letting your friend borrow that shirt, make sure you specify when you want it back by and to have them wash it when they're done with it.
And if it does come back damaged, have a conversation about how you expect them to handle it. For example, will they take it to a dry cleaner or buy you a new shirt or give you a specified amount of money to replace it.
Setting Time Boundaries (23:54)
And last are time boundaries. Many of us fall into two categories: those who run late to everything and those who tend to think that if you're not early, you're late.
And for those of us who tend to be early, we may feel as though our boundaries are being intruded by those who run late to everything. And sure, those people may not intend to cross a boundary or hurt us, but it can still feel like our time isn't being valued.
So, here's how PsychCentral says to address that issue:
"Decide in your mind how long you're willing to wait before an agreed upon meeting time. Give yourself permission to leave or cancel an appointment if that time isn't met. If you're dealing with someone who's perpetually late, communicate this to them ahead of time. Let them know you'll be leaving after a certain amount of time has passed."
Still, try not to sound accusatory. Consider acknowledging that you two have different personalities. You're not trying to change them, but you need to set time boundaries for yourself because you can't afford or don't want to wait any longer.
Boundary Violations (24:48)
Now, it's important to note that no matter how hard we try to communicate our boundaries, there will always be those people who choose to continue breaking them. And if that's the case, we are allowed to cut off contact with that person.
Because if someone repeatedly disrespects our boundaries, then they're disrespecting us. And for myself, I try to rationalize it as there is a consequence for every boundary that's crossed.
You know, if you don't show up when you say you'll show up, and I'm waiting more than 30 minutes for you without any response, then you're not going to see me that day. I'm going to make other plans, and I'm not going to wait around for you to be available.
Or if you say something mean to me, I'm going to calmly end the conversation because I don't want to engage with that kind of behavior. And I may even need to take some space away from you until I feel comfortable talking to you again.
And again, that's easier said than done because some of us may be people pleasers. Again, myself included. But we need to value ourself and what feels okay to us. And we shouldn't let ourselves feel guilty for communicating what we will and won't tolerate.
Boundary Setting Exercise (25:47)
Now, that was a lot of information, and maybe your head's spinning. So, I'd like to close out this episode with a little exercise.
So, grab a pen and paper, and think of some recent scenarios where an interaction with someone left you feeling angry or hurt or afraid.
And with those scenarios in mind, try to see if you can determine a core theme. For example, did the social interactions leave you feeling invalidated, violated, or unheard?
And once you've determined what those core themes are, ask yourself how you can take actions to protect yourself from them in the future.
And taking it a step further, maybe write down what you think an appropriate consequence is if someone violates one of your boundaries.
Now, this won't be the end all be all. You know, your boundaries may change with your values, but this will be a good starting point. And I think it'll help you put your words to your feelings so, that way, you can better communicate your boundaries going forward.
Episode Closing (26:54)
And, tying it back to the tarot. Today, we have the Major Arcana card Strength, which is reminding us that we have the strength to move forward with courage. Going back to the number eight, it's reflective of the infinity sign, representing that our energy is continuously flowing.
And that feminine energy of the card reminds us that we need to look inwards to ourselves, reflect, meditate, and then know that we have the inspired action within us to move forward, setting those boundaries.
It's going to be scary, it's gonna be uncomfortable, but we have the strength to do it. And by doing that, we're pushing ourselves forward into a better position for the year ahead.
Connect with A Jaded Gay (27:27)
So, as always, thank you all for listening. I really hope you enjoyed this episode. Again, if you listen on Spotify, there'll be, you know, some prompts and polls to answer on there. If you're listening elsewhere, feel free to email me.
Tell me about your boundaries, what you think are appropriate boundaries for gay men to set. Tell me your success stories with boundaries, maybe some of the struggles you've gone through setting boundaries.
But any tips you think that might be relevant to share with everyone on the podcast, I would love to hear it. As always, you can reach out to me rob@ajadedgay.com.
You can also connect with a podcast on Instagram, TikTok, SoundCloud, and YouTube @ajadedgaypod. You can also connect with me personally, Rob Loveless, on Instagram @rob_loveless.
Don't forget to check out the website, ajadedgay.com, for more information about the resources listed in the podcast episodes, guest profiles, links to all our socials, and merchandise, and all that fun stuff
As a reminder, I also greatly appreciate you considering signing up for Patreon @ajadedgaypod. Tiers are $1, $3, and $5 a month. Regardless of whatever tier you sign up for, you get access to the episodes a day early, ad-free, exclusive monthly bonus episodes.
At the $3 and $5 tier, you get your very own t-shirt. Either a non-jaded gay t-shirt or an LGBTQutie t-shirt. So that's fun. And then, also, if you are in that $5 tier, you get a personalized shout-out on the podcast episode from yours truly. I'll do that little shout-out at the beginning before we get into the tarot and all that. So again, really appreciate you considering signing up for that.
If you don't want to sign up for a monthly subscription, I get it I'm scared of commitment too. You can do a one-time donation though on Buy Me a Coffee @ajadedgaypod for any amount of money. Again, greatly appreciate that.
And I think that's all. I think that's everything I have to say. It feels like this has been a long episode, so thank you for hanging in there. Again, you know boundaries, super important. Let's use the new year as an opportunity to really start advocating for ourselves and communicating what feels right to us.
And of course, remember, every day is all we have, so you got to make your own happiness.
Mmm-bye.
Outtake (29:53)
Ollie, I need you to stop licking. I don't know if the microphone's picking this up. The joys of recording in the same room as your dog.